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The cards
were pictures of me in a cop outfit: “Go ahead, make my day.”
Or in a Santa outfit: “Sit on my lap and tell me what you want for
Christmas.” You know, really, really cheesy. I went up and down Ventura
Boulevard selling my greeting cards. I ended up selling the cards nationwide.
My mom quit her job. We would fill the orders in my basement. It was amazing.
This stupid college thing ended up becoming a business.
I put
my home phone number on the back of the cards, and people started calling,
saying, “Who's this girl? I have a poster company.”I said, “I
know, isn't she good? You should hire her.”
At the
time, I couldn't get a modeling agent to save my life. Nobody would take
me. So I said, “You know, I'm gonna do this myself.”
I started doing posters and calendars and swimsuit issues and ended up
getting the title of “America's Number One Pinup.” This unknown
girl sold more posters than Farrah Fawcett and Marilyn Monroe. So I started
getting all this publicity.
I got
a call [from America Online], saying, “We're putting people's pictures
up on our Web site. We put up Elle Macpherson last week. Cindy Crawford
this week. And we would like you to be our third person.” Who knew
what a Web site was then? I said, “I have no idea what you're talking
about, but I would love that.” Who wouldn't want to be with Elle
Macpherson and Cindy Crawford? They're my idols.
The next
day, AOL said, “You broke all these download records. Seventy thousand
in twenty-four hours. Every ten seconds, someone was downloading you.”
So I started doing chats with AOL. The Internet was just becoming huge
then, so it was perfect timing. I won “The Most Downloaded Woman
in the World” in the Guinness Book of World Records—five
years in a row.
Forty
percent of the people who come to my site are women. Moms e-mail me: “Thank
you for having a clean site. I don't mind if my son comes to your site.”
My site is completely PG rated. I've never posed nude. If they want a
sweet, sexy girl next door, then they come to my site. Everything is 100
percent me. I do this on my own computer, at my house, in my pajamas.
I return every single e-mail I get, so it's kind of like a huge party
with millions of people.
Young
girls are always asking for advice. They're the first people I e-mail
back because I know how difficult that is. I had terrible acne in high
school. I wore a ton of makeup to try to cover it up. I would walk around
with my hair in front of my face.
I developed
really early, in sixth grade, and when they would have those polls in
junior high and high school, I would win “Best Body.” That's
the only one I ever won. My claim to fame. I know that when these girls
say their boobs are too big because they developed early, they're slouched
like me. I know what they're going through.
It just
kills me when these girls look at magazines and wish they could look like
that. I try to tell them, “Nobody looks like that. Everything's airbrushed.
My pictures are airbrushed. You should see me without makeup. Everything
is lighting and makeup and hair. You would probably look way better than
me if you were able to have this.” I wish every girl could experience
that.
I know
I play into that image out there, but I try to say it is a fantasy. I
look at my own pictures and wish I could look like that. There are probably
five people in this whole entire world who actually look like that. And
it's none of the people you're thinking it is. I try to say, “Beauty
is great; take care of yourself. But use your brains to stay in school,
and try to further yourself not just on your looks. You have to believe
in yourself.”
When
I got married, people said, “You shouldn't tell people you're getting
married.”I said, “Are you kidding? I let my cyberbuds in on
everything.” It's not just about the body. People care. They feel
they know you. They want to be a part of your life. My wedding pictures
got downloaded more than my bikini pictures.
You dream
of a wedding your whole life. That day, you're the center of attention.
[It's supposed to be] the happiest day of your life. But for me, it wasn't
this exciting thing. I had been modeling wedding dresses for years. When
I was walking down the aisle smiling, and the cameras were going, I felt
like I was working.
My mom
has every picture I've ever taken. She's my biggest supporter. She has
a basement where the walls, the ceiling, and the stairs are [covered with]
my pictures. The Cindy shrine. It kind of shocks people. The first time
I brought my husband over, he's like, “This is weird.” But it's
a Cindy museum for people I'll let go in it.
I'm a
girly girl, and I blame my mother for that because she was a model when
she was younger. I tell my mom, “You had me playing with makeup so
young!” She has a video of me putting on makeup with her, and I'm
going, “Mommy pretty, Cindy pretty.” Like, who would do that
at three years old? I said, “Mom, you damaged me! Don't you see that?”
I have
a really good friend who's a Playmate, and her three-year-old has high-heeled
shoes they make for three-year-olds. I'm like, “There's just something
wrong about that.” The first three years are very important in someone's
life, and you just don't want to have them wear little dresses and high
heels and stuff.
Over
the past year, I've been taking fertility drugs. Each cycle, you gain
ten to fifteen pounds. I got a part on Ally McBeal, and David E.
Kelley said, “We want to do this thing where you're modeling swimwear.”
I was like, “Oh, God, I can't. Maybe we can think of something else.”
He said, “Cindy, that's what you're known for.
I want you in this bikini. You're a fantasy girl, and Lucy Liu's gonna
be jealous of you.” I was tormented, because I wanted to be on Ally
McBeal, but I couldn't be in a bikini.
It became
such a big deal. I went to wardrobe for the fitting, and they called David
in, and it was the first time I ever felt really self-conscious. All these
people were looking at me, saying, “She doesn't look good in this
bikini.” I felt like, “Oh my God, I've screwed up this whole,
huge thing.” They ended up putting me in a one-piece. But I never
told them the reason. They thought I had let myself go.
In this
business, beauty helps. But there are a million beautiful girls who get
off the bus every day and come here, and if all it took was a killer body
and great hair, everyone would have their own TV show. Nobody helped me.
You have to do it yourself and use your brain and your smarts—and
of course looks are a huge asset.
If I'm
on a show like Ally McBeal or Politically Incorrect, I walk
up to the producer and say, “This is going to be your highest-rated
show.” And they say, “Oh, Cindy, that's so cute.” Then,
a week later, I'll get a call from the producer, saying, “How did
you do that?” Just totally freaked out. I'll say, “Because,
dummy, I e-mail every single person on my database!” I can e-mail
millions of people. I say, “If you happen to be home Saturday night
and you're not doing anything, I would love for you to watch me on the
show. Hugs and kisses, Cindy.” And I might give a picture, a coupon,
or something like that. Nine out of ten times, if they are home and doing
nothing, they'll watch it.
There's
something for everyone [on my site]. I'm really trying to branch out now
that I'm getting older and am going to be a mother. I am adding a whole
in vitro site. I also have a workout video. If you want to click on the
one little button to see my photo gallery, there are probably three hundred
pictures, and eighty are bikini pictures. I built my career on pictures
and the posters, and that's my core fan base. But really, I'm a girl's
girl: I'm glad if your brother wants to look at my picture, but I'd rather
hang out and talk to you. As long as they want to see me in a bikini,
I'll be in one. But it's hard to live up to those images.
from
Lauren Greenfield's Girl Culture: Faculty Guide
Center for Creative Photography, University of Arizona
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